WEBVTT

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Once you've figured out a time at a

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place , it's important to find your

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words . So , one of the things that

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keeps us often from engaging with

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people or talking to someone is that

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we're afraid that we don't know what to

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say and we really don't want to make

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things worse . So a lot of times we

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just decide to do nothing at all and

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that person ends up feeling just as

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alone and we end up feeling just as

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uncertain about what's going on and

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maybe even feeling guilty for not

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reaching out , particularly if

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something bad happens down the road .

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And what you want to really think about

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when you find the words to talk to

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somebody is two basic things and that's

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kindness and caring starting off simply

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by telling somebody that you're

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concerned about them , um , or asking

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how they're doing . Um , they might say

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fine , why do you ask ? And in that

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case , it can be helpful to state what

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you've observed . So saying to someone ,

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it seems like you're drinking more than

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usual would be much better received by

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most people than saying you look like

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an alcoholic when we judge people ,

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they often feel a need to defend

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themselves and that can close down a

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conversation and reduce the likelihood

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that that person is gonna want to talk

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in the future at all .