WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:02.880 now the lessons that I've learned is 00:02.880 --> 00:05.240 I'm stronger than I thought I was . I 00:05.240 --> 00:07.660 think most people can , can look back 00:07.660 --> 00:09.771 at some of the tests that they've had 00:09.771 --> 00:11.771 in life and realized that they were 00:11.771 --> 00:13.938 stronger than they thought they were . 00:13.938 --> 00:16.104 Faith . Really played a big part in my 00:16.104 --> 00:18.370 foundation of overcoming so many 00:18.380 --> 00:21.180 different obstacles . Uh and then again , 00:21.180 --> 00:23.440 the superpower of community , but I 00:23.440 --> 00:27.320 also learned that resilience is not to 00:27.320 --> 00:30.250 me about bouncing back one . I think 00:30.250 --> 00:32.390 you need to feel the feelings don't 00:32.390 --> 00:36.220 hide them . Uh My son 00:36.220 --> 00:38.610 hid his feelings for a long time and it 00:38.620 --> 00:40.900 erupted in Mount Vesuvius and with his 00:40.910 --> 00:44.900 suicide attempt . Um and then yes , I 00:44.900 --> 00:48.380 think it's partly bouncing back , but 00:48.390 --> 00:50.557 if you bounce back , usually you're in 00:50.557 --> 00:52.612 the same spot and I certainly didn't 00:52.612 --> 00:54.723 want to be in the same spot . So then 00:54.723 --> 00:56.779 it was with the help of my community 00:56.779 --> 01:00.480 and my safety net To March 4 to March 01:00.480 --> 01:03.980 forth and conquer those adversities and 01:03.980 --> 01:06.900 disappointments and insecurities . Um 01:06.910 --> 01:09.330 again , having my battle buddy and my 01:09.330 --> 01:12.890 wingmen available to me um when I 01:12.890 --> 01:15.470 needed to borrow hope , borrow courage 01:15.480 --> 01:18.710 and I have learned those 01:18.710 --> 01:21.420 lessons now . I want to tutor people 01:21.420 --> 01:24.200 through the lessons that they learned 01:24.200 --> 01:27.060 after their test . My friends call me 01:27.060 --> 01:31.030 the emotional support human . Um and 01:31.040 --> 01:33.760 truly that is 01:34.310 --> 01:36.830 um that is my passion and I feel like 01:36.830 --> 01:39.780 my purpose is to tell her story which 01:39.780 --> 01:43.180 helps me heal . Uh and as I tell her 01:43.180 --> 01:46.960 story on a worldwide level , I'm so 01:46.970 --> 01:49.460 appreciative of this opportunity . 01:49.470 --> 01:52.860 Maybe my son is out there Ryan is out 01:52.860 --> 01:54.860 there and maybe he'll say I need to 01:54.860 --> 01:57.950 call home . Um , he's battling bipolar , 01:57.950 --> 02:00.100 which was from what I understand from 02:00.100 --> 02:02.330 the doctors triggered early by the his 02:02.330 --> 02:04.980 dad's suicide . Again , the choice and 02:04.980 --> 02:06.980 it reminds me of the choices that I 02:06.980 --> 02:08.980 make that other people have to live 02:08.980 --> 02:11.660 with and I have to live with . Uh , and 02:11.660 --> 02:14.830 I really want to help people understand 02:14.830 --> 02:17.610 that they are not a burden , that they 02:17.610 --> 02:21.190 are enough that there is hope enough to 02:21.190 --> 02:24.240 go around . Um , when people are in 02:24.240 --> 02:27.390 crisis , that's the least likely time 02:27.390 --> 02:29.446 that they're going to ask for help . 02:29.446 --> 02:31.612 And it takes those of us who were in a 02:31.612 --> 02:35.330 good place to notice 02:35.340 --> 02:37.507 when their fingernails are bitten down 02:37.507 --> 02:39.618 to the nubs like Don was when they're 02:39.618 --> 02:42.180 more reserved than typical when they're 02:42.180 --> 02:45.760 just off and and going up to them and 02:45.760 --> 02:48.950 saying , Hey , I see that . I feel like 02:48.950 --> 02:51.172 you're struggling . You know , use your 02:51.172 --> 02:53.920 heart , your intuition , your head and 02:53.920 --> 02:56.170 talk to them about it . And sometimes 02:56.170 --> 02:59.590 you have to ask the tough question , 02:59.600 --> 03:03.060 are you thinking of suicide research 03:03.060 --> 03:05.880 has said , if you mention suicide to 03:05.880 --> 03:08.047 someone who's going through a crisis , 03:08.047 --> 03:11.470 it does not , um , it does not put it 03:11.470 --> 03:13.414 in their mind and and make it more 03:13.414 --> 03:17.090 likely . What it does do is it helps 03:17.090 --> 03:19.257 them understand that you see them as a 03:19.257 --> 03:22.450 human being and you care about them and 03:22.450 --> 03:24.820 don't be afraid of the answer . Yes . 03:25.560 --> 03:27.671 Because you know what those resources 03:27.671 --> 03:30.330 are at your installation or whatever 03:30.330 --> 03:32.950 your community is . So it takes those 03:32.950 --> 03:35.580 of us in a good place to spend a little 03:35.580 --> 03:39.380 bit of time and effort to listen 03:40.080 --> 03:43.080 to , to use a space ask care . 03:45.130 --> 03:47.830 It makes such a big difference . I 03:47.830 --> 03:51.650 would much rather My first husband be 03:51.660 --> 03:54.690 angry with me for asking rather than 03:54.690 --> 03:57.660 our 14 year old reading the eulogy at 03:57.660 --> 04:00.930 his funeral . Find your 04:00.930 --> 04:03.330 person . We all should have a person 04:03.330 --> 04:05.920 ahead of time that , that we know we 04:05.920 --> 04:07.760 can go to our battle buddy , our 04:07.760 --> 04:11.440 wingman . Um , that person that we know 04:11.450 --> 04:14.450 can listen as human beings . I think we 04:14.450 --> 04:17.870 want to fix things and it's okay not to 04:17.880 --> 04:20.950 be able to fix things , but just to sit 04:20.950 --> 04:23.172 there and listen and and help carry the 04:23.172 --> 04:26.420 burden with them . Um , but my message 04:26.420 --> 04:28.910 is also for those in the community . 04:28.910 --> 04:31.460 Just keep an eye out . I talk in 04:31.460 --> 04:34.160 acronyms in my presentations and I'll 04:34.160 --> 04:35.993 talk about those tomorrow at the 04:35.993 --> 04:38.570 enlisted summit . But um , hope is an 04:38.570 --> 04:41.500 acronym and it has two meanings . Hold 04:41.500 --> 04:44.110 on . Pain eases that he doesn't stand 04:44.110 --> 04:46.650 for end and it's okay . I think we all 04:46.650 --> 04:49.080 have been through experiences where the 04:49.080 --> 04:50.900 pain ebbs and flows at times , 04:50.900 --> 04:53.580 especially milestones and all . Um , 04:53.580 --> 04:56.140 but it also stands for help one person 04:56.150 --> 04:59.490 every day and , and when you can get 04:59.490 --> 05:02.260 outside of your own circumstances and 05:02.260 --> 05:04.500 help someone else , it helps your 05:04.500 --> 05:06.820 panties , but it helps their panties as 05:06.820 --> 05:10.540 well , But it takes a community to come 05:10.540 --> 05:14.160 alongside each other um to do life 05:14.160 --> 05:17.640 together because hope is not canceled 05:17.650 --> 05:20.220 especially in this day and age . 05:20.930 --> 05:23.580 Yeah , I'm so fortunate . I don't know 05:23.580 --> 05:26.040 if it's being a military brat or or 05:26.040 --> 05:29.970 what , but I have this philosophy don't 05:29.970 --> 05:33.610 take no for an answer . And um 05:33.620 --> 05:35.810 so I've been working on a national 05:35.810 --> 05:37.930 resilience day and actually now I'm 05:37.930 --> 05:40.060 also working on world resilience Day 05:40.060 --> 05:43.480 with the U . N . Um and it's March 4th 05:43.490 --> 05:45.434 because we march forth and conquer 05:45.434 --> 05:47.046 those disappointments of the 05:47.046 --> 05:49.101 universities , the the self limiting 05:49.101 --> 05:52.010 beliefs . Um and it's just you know , 05:52.010 --> 05:54.610 it's that play on words but I've had 05:54.610 --> 05:57.020 installations that have ruck marches on 05:57.020 --> 06:00.730 March 4th and they use it as a resource 06:00.730 --> 06:04.660 fair as well . Um so still working 06:04.660 --> 06:08.510 on that one . And then in 2017 I 06:08.510 --> 06:10.760 thought we have a three digit number 06:10.760 --> 06:13.450 for medical emergency . 911 . Why can't 06:13.450 --> 06:16.280 we have a three digit number for um 06:16.280 --> 06:20.070 mental health emergency ? Um We've had 06:20.070 --> 06:22.290 the national suicide prevention 06:22.290 --> 06:25.200 lifeline in the US for a long time . 10 06:25.200 --> 06:27.200 digits . It's hard to remember . Is 06:27.200 --> 06:29.380 that 800 is it 833 ? You know , all 06:29.380 --> 06:32.920 those toll free numbers . Um and 06:32.930 --> 06:36.330 we got some nose surprisingly 06:36.340 --> 06:40.060 but um after a lot of advocating 06:40.060 --> 06:43.990 and in fact he Vidal who's the 2022 Air 06:43.990 --> 06:46.212 force spouse of the year stationed here 06:46.212 --> 06:48.840 at Ramstein uh she worked on it as well . 06:48.850 --> 06:51.370 And again it took a community that it 06:51.370 --> 06:53.592 finally passed the House and the Senate 06:53.592 --> 06:55.814 and was signed as an executive order in 06:55.814 --> 06:59.580 2020 and july 16th of this year , 06:59.590 --> 07:02.640 it went nationwide in the states uh 07:02.650 --> 07:05.460 where you can dial 988 and even text 07:05.470 --> 07:09.100 988 to reach the National Suicide 07:09.100 --> 07:11.870 Prevention Lifeline . And it's the same 07:11.870 --> 07:14.092 number for the Veterans crisis line and 07:14.092 --> 07:16.259 military crisis line . So trying to do 07:16.259 --> 07:20.150 some good with um the circumstances . 07:20.150 --> 07:24.100 Again , it's it's my choice what I do 07:24.100 --> 07:27.650 with my life , considering what I've 07:27.660 --> 07:30.740 been through , just like everyone else , 07:30.740 --> 07:32.962 right ? It's it's our choice , it's our 07:32.962 --> 07:35.200 attitude . Uh and what do we do with 07:35.200 --> 07:37.730 that ? And and really I want to take 07:37.730 --> 07:39.841 the lessons that I learned , the hard 07:39.841 --> 07:42.850 lessons that I've learned and 07:42.860 --> 07:46.710 uh in part to other 07:46.710 --> 07:50.650 people um about 07:50.650 --> 07:52.317 those lessons . So they don't 07:52.317 --> 07:54.460 necessarily have to go through the 07:54.460 --> 07:56.960 tough tests that my family and I went 07:56.960 --> 07:59.071 through and we're still going through 07:59.071 --> 08:01.016 and I know I'm going to have other 08:01.016 --> 08:02.849 tests down the road , but always 08:02.849 --> 08:04.904 looking for something to make life a 08:04.904 --> 08:07.820 little bit easier for other people . Um 08:08.430 --> 08:10.360 because of the lessons that I've 08:10.360 --> 08:12.527 learned from the choices I've made and 08:12.527 --> 08:14.850 the choices that that other people have 08:14.850 --> 08:18.580 made . Um there's a saying 08:18.590 --> 08:22.210 um it takes nothing away from a burning 08:22.210 --> 08:25.280 candle to light another candle . It 08:25.280 --> 08:29.120 takes no wax , no wick , no fire . And 08:29.130 --> 08:32.320 if I can spread a little light on a 08:32.320 --> 08:35.610 situation or circumstance or even a 08:35.610 --> 08:38.790 crisis after the fact , then I feel 08:38.790 --> 08:41.550 like that's my , my duty to do that , 08:41.560 --> 08:44.030 especially in our military community , 08:44.040 --> 08:47.940 um , which is a lifestyle that I've 08:47.950 --> 08:49.894 experienced my entire life . And I 08:49.894 --> 08:53.690 absolutely love the chaos 08:53.700 --> 08:56.790 and the craziness that comes with this 08:56.790 --> 08:59.650 military lifestyle . I just want to 08:59.650 --> 09:02.760 remind everyone that hold on pain 09:02.760 --> 09:05.980 eases and to help one person every 09:05.980 --> 09:09.010 day and it's okay if that one person is 09:09.010 --> 09:12.440 yourself , it's not selfish and that 09:12.450 --> 09:14.010 hope is not canceled .