WEBVTT

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My name is Angelina Casarez I am

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one of the chiefs of public affairs

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here at the 5 2nd airbase swing .

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Yeah , I'm actually an only child .

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My parents worked really long hours to

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make sure that they could provide for

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us . My mother and father were married

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for 17 years . They met in high school

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and they were high school sweethearts .

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My father promised to build my mom her

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dream home and he started building the

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home but it actually kind of looked

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like a shack . We had four walls and a

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roof , but our floors were cement so

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we didn't , I didn't know what laminate

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or tile or carpet was growing up .

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The walls , hat didn't have full

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enclosed walls . So we went from a

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mobile home two ways . Kind of

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considered a shack . My mom and dad ,

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I always assumed were happy but

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behind closed doors , I would hear

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arguments . I didn't understand what

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abuse was . I didn't understand what

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mental and physical abuse was . I would

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see my dad grab my mom really

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hard or shove her when I would

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intervene , things would stop . I was

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like my mom's protector .

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But at that time a lot of parents

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fought , even my friends , parents

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fought when I was at their house . So

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it was almost like our normal after I

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turned 10 , the violence got worse .

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I used to ask my mom to leave . Like

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all the time I would tell her , let's

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go , we'll go wherever you want to go ,

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I'll come with you , she was very

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adamant about staying married and

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having a foundation home a family

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one night my dad got really violent

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with my mom and he

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broke her jaw in front of me . It

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wasn't him , like it was a different

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person . She really didn't want anyone

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to know what was going on . She tried

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to deal with the pain on her own and I

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knew something was bad . Like I knew

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This was probably the last time that

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they would be together . My parents

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officially got divorced when I was 13

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years old . I was still in middle

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school . We moved into our home as soon

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as my mom got the keys , we opened the

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door and we

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both got really emotional .

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Yeah . Mhm .

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We had real walls , we had

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a roof and we had carpet for the first

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time in our lives . We just

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laid there on the carpet for like an

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hour just

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and excitement and pride .

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Yeah , I think that was a real turning

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point for my mom because

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she was empowered . She is a very

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strong woman . I saw that growing up my

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entire life and she's really the person

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who shaped who I am today . That's a

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really important part of my life . That

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moment , right before I started high

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school , I started dating someone . It

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was my eighth grade year , our first

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few months , probably a year . The

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relationship seemed good . And then

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once we went through that year ,

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it was like a turning point in the

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relationship . I

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uh was in dance team . My early years

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in high school and I noticed

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that brought on some jealousy .

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So I really minimized what I did

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outside of school , because I was in a

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relationship where jealousy and control

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took over during my sophomore

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year . Yeah , the

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abuse was more

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apparent . The grabbing , the

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shoving things that I watched my mom

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go through . Um I'd have

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bruises on my arms or back places

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where people really couldn't see it .

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So , it was easier to hide . one day we

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got into an argument , I don't even

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remember what it was about

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and he shoved me

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so hard that I hit the

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window and broke it . It didn't shatter .

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There was just a nice big crack in it ,

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and I hit it with my head . And I

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remember frying

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and kind of , being in shock , and

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immediately the apologies , you know ,

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came in . I continued in the

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relationship , I would stand my ground

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every now and then , but usually it

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wasn't going to benefit me if I did

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that . So , a lot of times I just ,

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Oh babe , and kept my mouth shut

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and almost became an introvert and I'm

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very extrovert . I started to believe

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the things that we're being told to me .

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I started to believe that I wasn't

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worth anything .

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I felt like I didn't have a purpose .

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Almost , it was almost like being a

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home body in high school . Mhm .

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And then I got pregnant .

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I was I just turned 17 .

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I'm pregnant . My junior year of high

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school about to have a baby . The last

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thing you want to hear or think is

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that the person you're having a baby

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with isn't committed to you .

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So I didn't believe it . I felt

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so dumb . I felt so

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betrayed . There were

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days that I didn't want to go to school

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because I just didn't want to hear it .

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I think deep down , I knew it was true ,

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but I felt like I'd

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be defeated if I accepted it . And then

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what , what would happen ? I'd be a

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single mom in high school .

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So I ignored the rumors . Throughout my

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whole junior year , we got in an

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argument on the way to school and I

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remember him grabbing me by my hair . I

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was in the passenger seat and

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grabbing me by my hair and shoving me

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multiple times into the door window .

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I was still pregnant . And I just

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remember the worst

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headache you could ever feel and

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feeling such pain . I was

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crying . You know , stress can impact

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the baby . And I was pretty far along

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at this point . And then we pull up to

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the school and I get out of the car

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and I tell him that's it . I'm going to

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tell the police what you're doing to me .

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I'm done . And so he promised

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that he would change . And I believed

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it when you think about it .

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There's a male figure in your life

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growing up . You see

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how that person acts how they treat

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women . The things that they say , the

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things that they do and at a young

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age I knew that was wrong

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but I didn't know how to leave . I

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didn't know how to change the

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situation . I knew that if I told

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my mom what I was going through ,

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she would put a stop to it . Mhm mm .

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And even though I wanted that ,

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I didn't want to disappoint her .

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Once I turned 18 I realized I

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was an adult officially an adult .

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I had a baby . My life wasn't about

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me anymore . My life was about my

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son . Uh and

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making sure that I could provide for

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him and give him the best home

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possible .

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I think in a way my

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son gave me that confidence

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and I confronted my son's

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dad . Mhm . Okay . And they said

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I believe in myself , you need to pack

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your stuff and go we went our separate

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ways . We went through the legal

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process for custody and it was

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mutual . So there was never a fight .

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I told my mom the things that I had

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went through the abuse ,

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mental and physical , she

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cried , she blamed

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herself . I tried to reassure her

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that it wasn't her fault and that we

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get through it together

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and we did .

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I've been able to come to peace and

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move on . I'm happily married .

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Mhm . We have three boys and a girl and

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a daughter . Yeah , there is light at

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the end of the tunnel , there is

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hope I'm living proof

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of that .

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Yeah . Yeah .