WEBVTT 00:00.140 --> 00:02.750 Arctic Guardians . Welcome to our 00:02.760 --> 00:05.010 annual suicide prevention training 00:05.020 --> 00:07.900 training . This is not going to be the 00:07.900 --> 00:10.011 training that you normally experience 00:10.011 --> 00:12.011 here . We've got your wingman , the 00:12.011 --> 00:14.011 folks that you spend your time with 00:14.011 --> 00:16.178 when you come out here to 176 wing and 00:16.178 --> 00:17.956 they're gonna give you personal 00:17.956 --> 00:19.956 testimonies , they're gonna recount 00:19.956 --> 00:21.789 events that they have personally 00:21.789 --> 00:23.900 experienced . I ask you to take these 00:23.900 --> 00:26.067 events and internalize them reflect on 00:26.067 --> 00:28.233 them because these are the skills that 00:28.233 --> 00:30.289 you're going to use when you need to 00:30.289 --> 00:32.178 step in , you're gonna hear these 00:32.178 --> 00:32.110 testimonies , both of the folks that 00:32.110 --> 00:34.332 were the wingman and the folks that had 00:34.332 --> 00:36.554 the wingman and that's what we need you 00:36.554 --> 00:38.910 to focus on . These are real stories 00:39.090 --> 00:41.146 and we provide them to you because I 00:41.146 --> 00:43.090 think that is far better than just 00:43.090 --> 00:45.690 training . You can take these skills 00:45.700 --> 00:47.811 and you can internalize them and take 00:47.811 --> 00:50.033 them out to your community and they can 00:50.033 --> 00:52.256 work in your family very effectively as 00:52.256 --> 00:54.144 well . So , again , thank you for 00:54.144 --> 00:56.144 participating in the annual suicide 00:56.144 --> 00:59.050 prevention training . 01:01.140 --> 01:03.362 Hi , I'm Senior Master Sergeant , Janet 01:03.362 --> 01:05.590 Lemons and I've been a part of the 1 76 01:05.590 --> 01:08.560 wing since the 90s and 01:09.240 --> 01:11.960 I am a suicide survivor , 01:18.640 --> 01:22.530 mm hmm . As the wing Director of 01:22.530 --> 01:24.641 Psychological Health for the last six 01:24.641 --> 01:26.419 years . I know of many people's 01:26.419 --> 01:29.420 personal stories , their members that 01:29.420 --> 01:32.030 have been impacted by suicide by family 01:32.030 --> 01:34.830 members , friends , neighbors , 01:34.840 --> 01:38.560 community members . We live in a state 01:38.560 --> 01:40.671 that has one of the highest completed 01:40.671 --> 01:42.838 suicide rates . And so whether you may 01:42.838 --> 01:44.838 not know anybody in your work place 01:44.838 --> 01:47.004 that's been affected by suicide or had 01:47.004 --> 01:49.171 suicidal tendencies , there are people 01:49.171 --> 01:51.393 in your community and your neighbors in 01:51.393 --> 01:53.504 your schools , learning some of these 01:53.504 --> 01:55.616 skills will talk about is impactful . 01:55.616 --> 01:57.893 Not only for you to be a good coworker , 01:57.893 --> 01:57.790 attuned member of the International 01:57.790 --> 01:59.846 Guard , but also a good friend and a 01:59.846 --> 02:03.620 good name . Some 02:03.620 --> 02:05.620 people may be adversely affected by 02:05.620 --> 02:08.060 what you see , please please reach out 02:08.060 --> 02:11.030 to any resources . If any old scars 02:11.030 --> 02:13.141 have been reopened from watching this 02:13.141 --> 02:15.252 video , what you're about to watch is 02:15.252 --> 02:17.230 an unscripted version of authentic 02:17.230 --> 02:19.341 stories by people that you care about 02:19.341 --> 02:20.341 in this wing . 02:24.300 --> 02:28.180 It was September 23 , 2007 . I received 02:28.180 --> 02:30.180 a phone call about 3:00 AM . It was 02:30.180 --> 02:32.013 drill weekend and it was a state 02:32.013 --> 02:34.236 trooper telling me that my son had shot 02:34.236 --> 02:37.250 himself . I was gone of course and my 02:37.250 --> 02:39.472 wife had a kiddie pool filled up in the 02:39.472 --> 02:42.720 backyard And she walked by and what did 02:42.720 --> 02:45.160 she see that our 18 month old son lying 02:45.160 --> 02:47.327 face down after he had drowned in that 02:47.327 --> 02:50.730 pool years ago , I was struggling with 02:50.730 --> 02:52.841 my mental health and no one could see 02:52.841 --> 02:56.020 it because you can't see it oftentimes 02:56.030 --> 02:59.830 when I went home every day um and 02:59.840 --> 03:02.280 was you know , taking stuff out of my 03:02.280 --> 03:04.558 family , my marriage was falling apart . 03:04.558 --> 03:06.391 I wasn't sleeping , I was having 03:06.391 --> 03:08.336 nightmares and I was a really good 03:08.336 --> 03:12.260 pretender . I had just gotten 03:12.260 --> 03:15.070 hired as an A G . R . Um I just bought 03:15.070 --> 03:17.014 a house , had the girlfriend , the 03:17.014 --> 03:19.126 hobbies , everything , everything was 03:19.126 --> 03:21.181 going good . I had no reason to want 03:21.181 --> 03:23.400 for anything but nonetheless I would 03:23.400 --> 03:26.500 get to work every morning and cry in my 03:26.500 --> 03:30.130 car for 10 15 minutes and I was 03:30.130 --> 03:33.060 just burdened with sadness . 03:33.070 --> 03:37.030 We were left with questions and 03:37.030 --> 03:39.800 left with trying to go on with our life 03:39.810 --> 03:43.030 in a split second . He felt that the 03:43.030 --> 03:45.610 best answer to his life was to end his 03:45.610 --> 03:47.530 life and he just we feel that he 03:47.530 --> 03:50.560 believed a lie . She quickly pulled him 03:50.560 --> 03:52.630 out and fortunately was able to 03:52.630 --> 03:55.180 resuscitate him . Um and the five year 03:55.180 --> 03:57.590 anniversary that's actually coming up 03:57.600 --> 04:01.220 this week it didn't impact him because 04:01.220 --> 04:04.620 he was fine after he went to the doctor 04:04.620 --> 04:06.620 and everyone took care of him . But 04:06.620 --> 04:08.787 what it impacted was our mental health 04:08.787 --> 04:10.953 and our state of being I guess it just 04:10.953 --> 04:12.842 got so bad . I came into work and 04:12.842 --> 04:14.898 someone I didn't even know very well 04:14.898 --> 04:17.580 pulled me aside and he said hey man 04:17.580 --> 04:19.802 you're doing okay . And I said yeah man 04:19.802 --> 04:21.747 I'm good . You know we're all Crew 04:21.747 --> 04:24.010 Chiefs were all a bunch of 25 to 30 04:24.010 --> 04:26.177 year old guys , we're not going to say 04:26.177 --> 04:28.288 no I'm not doing okay . Um Not on the 04:28.288 --> 04:30.399 first time you ask . And then he like 04:30.399 --> 04:32.566 pulls me aside by the door and he says 04:32.566 --> 04:34.700 you don't look like you're doing okay 04:34.710 --> 04:37.860 in hindsight . I remember thinking how 04:37.860 --> 04:40.082 important it was that he asked a second 04:40.082 --> 04:42.050 time and pressed 04:44.450 --> 04:46.394 that someone who is suffering with 04:46.394 --> 04:48.561 depression or stress or something that 04:48.561 --> 04:50.672 was going on . Someone who feels that 04:50.672 --> 04:52.672 they want to take their life . They 04:52.672 --> 04:54.839 think the answer is to kill themselves 04:54.839 --> 04:57.006 and they will take the pain away . But 04:57.006 --> 04:59.117 what he really did was he left all of 04:59.117 --> 05:00.839 us with his pain . My wife had 05:00.839 --> 05:03.006 traumatic scars from that experience , 05:03.006 --> 05:06.220 as did I for months afterwards . And 05:06.220 --> 05:08.590 what I found was if it were not for the 05:08.590 --> 05:10.590 mental health professionals that we 05:10.590 --> 05:12.701 brought into the 2 12 to take care of 05:12.701 --> 05:14.757 her , I don't know where we would be 05:14.757 --> 05:16.923 today . They were able to rekindle our 05:16.923 --> 05:20.210 relationship and our our minds so that 05:20.210 --> 05:22.910 we could have a healthy mental health 05:22.910 --> 05:26.890 state moving forward . These scars um 05:26.900 --> 05:30.660 that are visible are oftentimes paling 05:30.660 --> 05:33.610 in comparison to the scars that are in 05:33.610 --> 05:35.666 our minds that no one can see and no 05:35.666 --> 05:36.666 one wants to talk 05:36.666 --> 05:39.760 about . 05:40.550 --> 05:41.550 Yeah , 05:45.240 --> 05:48.180 I decided to take that chance and test 05:48.180 --> 05:50.350 the hypotheses and I reached out for 05:50.350 --> 05:53.550 mental health and nothing bad 05:53.550 --> 05:57.290 happened . I mean I cried a lot and it 05:57.290 --> 05:59.512 was scary because I had to look at some 05:59.512 --> 06:01.568 things I've been avoiding for a long 06:01.568 --> 06:03.790 time , Things got better . I get walked 06:03.790 --> 06:05.901 over to the horseshoe , I'm feeling a 06:05.901 --> 06:07.957 little anxious , go up to the shirts 06:07.957 --> 06:10.012 office and I really didn't know what 06:10.012 --> 06:12.068 was gonna happen . They walked me in 06:12.068 --> 06:14.179 there , my supervisor , the shirt and 06:14.179 --> 06:16.540 the commander they immediately put my 06:16.540 --> 06:18.651 mind at ease . They said , you know , 06:19.040 --> 06:20.873 first of all to start off with , 06:20.873 --> 06:23.151 there's nothing for you to worry about . 06:23.151 --> 06:25.373 We know what you're thinking about your 06:25.373 --> 06:27.540 job , how this is going to affect your 06:27.540 --> 06:29.707 future . And it's just not . I used to 06:29.707 --> 06:32.780 think that mental health was kind of a 06:32.780 --> 06:34.891 fictitious thing . And if you had any 06:34.891 --> 06:37.270 mental health issues , you were just 06:37.270 --> 06:40.070 mentally weak . That's how I used to 06:40.070 --> 06:42.590 think . And I learned that I was wrong 06:42.600 --> 06:44.740 when we take our masks down and we 06:44.740 --> 06:46.796 actually take the time to share with 06:46.796 --> 06:48.907 each other and really tell each other 06:48.907 --> 06:50.573 what's going on . We can find 06:50.573 --> 06:52.573 incredible help is just waiting all 06:52.573 --> 06:54.296 around us to take care of us . 06:57.240 --> 07:00.280 I personally am extrovert and I parent 07:00.280 --> 07:02.336 and extremely introverted daughter . 07:02.336 --> 07:04.391 And let's just face it , some people 07:04.391 --> 07:06.790 have these natural skills on making 07:06.790 --> 07:08.679 connections . I have thousands of 07:08.679 --> 07:10.623 acquaintances and I have five dear 07:10.623 --> 07:12.679 friends , right ? And that's all you 07:12.679 --> 07:14.901 need . I actually had to learn a lot on 07:14.901 --> 07:16.846 how to build relationships . So if 07:16.846 --> 07:19.120 somebody's out there and they aren't 07:19.120 --> 07:22.150 sure where to start , that's okay for 07:22.150 --> 07:24.317 me growing up . One of the things that 07:24.317 --> 07:27.150 helped was my dad offered to pay me $50 07:27.150 --> 07:28.983 to read a book called How to win 07:28.983 --> 07:30.983 friends and influence people and it 07:30.983 --> 07:33.094 talked about things like y'all shared 07:33.094 --> 07:36.060 of taking interest in others . Focus on 07:36.340 --> 07:38.451 connecting with people where they are 07:38.451 --> 07:40.673 not necessarily where you our goal with 07:40.673 --> 07:42.896 My daughter is to talk about friendship 07:42.896 --> 07:45.118 files . Like when you meet somebody and 07:45.118 --> 07:46.951 they went to Costa rica . Please 07:46.951 --> 07:49.118 mention that you went to Costa rica to 07:49.118 --> 07:48.940 It's a shared interest type of thing . 07:49.010 --> 07:51.121 The fact is that people that are very 07:51.121 --> 07:53.066 good at making connections , which 07:53.066 --> 07:55.232 everyone knows in their squadron , who 07:55.232 --> 07:57.566 that would be asked them how they do it . 07:57.566 --> 07:59.899 People are apt to share their knowledge . 07:59.899 --> 08:02.010 You really don't have to know someone 08:02.010 --> 08:04.066 really well to know when you need to 08:04.066 --> 08:06.232 reach out to him . The guy who reached 08:06.232 --> 08:08.680 out to me , we were acquaintances at 08:08.680 --> 08:10.847 work . So if you really want to make a 08:10.847 --> 08:12.930 difference , really , really pay 08:12.930 --> 08:15.700 attention to the subtle signs that 08:15.700 --> 08:17.990 someone is struggling sometimes all it 08:17.990 --> 08:20.700 takes is pressing the biggest thing to 08:20.710 --> 08:23.550 be communication . And that starts with 08:23.560 --> 08:26.620 everybody . It starts with us starts 08:26.620 --> 08:28.620 with the individual . If somebody's 08:28.620 --> 08:30.787 going through something and they think 08:30.787 --> 08:33.009 nobody's really going to try to help me 08:33.009 --> 08:35.064 or nobody's really gonna care . What 08:35.064 --> 08:37.398 about what I'm going through ? Not true . 08:37.398 --> 08:39.398 The fact of the matter is , there's 08:39.398 --> 08:41.620 always somebody that cares . I've never 08:41.620 --> 08:43.787 really seen the command structure open 08:43.787 --> 08:45.898 themselves up before . I mean , every 08:45.898 --> 08:47.842 commander says I have an open door 08:47.842 --> 08:50.009 policy , but it was truly like put her 08:50.009 --> 08:52.470 day on hold and address this issue 08:52.480 --> 08:55.500 quickly and gently and with subtlety , 08:55.510 --> 08:57.980 the only judgment honestly that I 08:57.990 --> 09:00.101 received was a judgment that I put on 09:00.101 --> 09:02.520 myself . So wing Commander called me . 09:02.530 --> 09:04.540 He congratulated me and told me how 09:04.540 --> 09:06.980 brave I was . My own commander called 09:06.980 --> 09:09.500 me , told me how brave I was . People 09:09.500 --> 09:11.920 DM me on instagram for people that are 09:11.920 --> 09:13.920 worried about the career impact for 09:13.920 --> 09:15.920 seeking help . Absolutely . You can 09:15.920 --> 09:17.920 come to a chaplain because there is 09:17.920 --> 09:20.087 zero career implications for that . We 09:20.087 --> 09:22.142 have 100% privileged communication . 09:22.142 --> 09:24.253 You can tell us absolutely anything , 09:24.253 --> 09:26.142 no exceptions whatsoever . And we 09:26.142 --> 09:28.309 aren't allowed to repeat it in the few 09:28.309 --> 09:30.476 instances where your flight status has 09:30.476 --> 09:32.587 changed and you did get grounded . It 09:32.587 --> 09:35.730 was always a temporary bit either for 09:35.740 --> 09:37.740 making sure that there's no adverse 09:37.740 --> 09:40.050 reaction with with medication or just 09:40.050 --> 09:41.994 making sure that you are in a good 09:41.994 --> 09:44.050 space before we put you back into an 09:44.050 --> 09:45.883 airplane and into more stressful 09:45.883 --> 09:48.660 situations . I know for me and my wife 09:48.670 --> 09:50.726 there is a very good chance we would 09:50.726 --> 09:52.948 not be married today if it were not for 09:52.948 --> 09:55.003 having that vulnerability and having 09:55.003 --> 09:57.059 those people in our lives that we're 09:57.059 --> 09:59.226 able to talk to us and take care of us 09:59.226 --> 10:01.660 and help us recover . I now like to say 10:01.660 --> 10:03.882 that anyone that doesn't go to a doctor 10:03.882 --> 10:05.716 with a broken bone , you kind of 10:05.716 --> 10:07.827 consider like crazy but we don't have 10:07.827 --> 10:10.049 that same mindset with our minds . When 10:10.049 --> 10:12.216 someone's mind is broken , the culture 10:12.216 --> 10:14.438 is still just tough it out . You'll get 10:14.438 --> 10:16.549 over it . But that's not true . If we 10:16.549 --> 10:18.549 don't talk to professionals . If we 10:18.549 --> 10:20.716 don't get that cast put on our mind to 10:20.716 --> 10:22.827 actually get the right help we need , 10:22.827 --> 10:25.049 then we're just asking for trouble . So 10:25.049 --> 10:26.882 I encourage everyone to take the 10:26.882 --> 10:28.993 opportunity , take the resources that 10:28.993 --> 10:31.049 are available because it really does 10:31.049 --> 10:33.216 make a difference . If you want to get 10:33.216 --> 10:35.216 better , if you miss the person you 10:35.216 --> 10:37.438 used to be , if you know the person you 10:37.438 --> 10:41.060 want to be , then you will get there . 11:29.040 --> 11:32.940 Mm hmm . On today's edition of 11:32.940 --> 11:36.820 Being a Good Citizen , we have diane 11:38.230 --> 11:38.980 and bolt 11:44.640 --> 11:48.550 good digestion . Mm hmm . Ready ? 11:59.010 --> 12:02.520 I will leave you now . You may go .