WEBVTT

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when I joined the military , I was a

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young private joining the military . Uh ,

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prior to that , I didn't have a lot of

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guidance as it relates to being a man

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in life . So when I went off to the

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military , I was growing up right there

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on the spot . And to add to that

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right after basic in a I . T . I was

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sent overseas and the things that I was

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exposed to over there then prepare me

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for what I was going to go into And to

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ask a young 19 year old to deal with

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that burning and come back home . Like

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nothing ever happened is something that

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you can't ask a lot of people . And I

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didn't understand how strong I was

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because I felt so weak having to deal

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with that and have no one to talk about

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as it relates to that . So I kind of

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put a lot of those feelings under

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Madden laid dormant for many , many

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years . And as I suppress those issues

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inside , it became a bigger issue . But

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on the outside , no one saw that I was

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telling and struggling under water .

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And that led me to the point of where I

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almost wanted to actually , I almost

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killed myself as a result of

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because I felt like I couldn't be the

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man that my family needed me to be .

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Because of everything else that I was

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trying to put on my shoulder to include

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the added responsibilities of being a

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husband , being a son , being a brother

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and everything else that life asked me

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to be . And that's a lot to ask of a

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young man and I didn't know the

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resources that I had available to me .

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So at that point , I felt like I was

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carrying the world on my shoulder

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without anybody else to take that

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weight off . And the biggest thing you

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can deal with in life is being able to

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make everybody else around you happy

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and the one person you can't make happy

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is yourself . And that's why suicide

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prevention is a really big deal for me

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because I too could have been that

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person that chose a long term

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solution for a short term problem .

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And I felt like that right there . It

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was my turning point in life to say ,

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hey , I need to raise my hand , ask

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somebody for help , find out what's

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going on with me , so that if it's not

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preventable , at least I can try to

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find a way to deal with as I speak to

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you . I'm a living testimony . That

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just because you're going through

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doesn't mean that you cannot deal with

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the problems that you're dealing when I

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wanted to commit suicide . I was a

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young teenager in life , I was only 19

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years old and I had my whole life to

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live but I felt like I didn't . And I

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stand before you today as a 20 Year

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veteran of the United States military ,

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a sergeant first class tell you that

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even though you still have those

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problems that you have to deal with

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every single day you can still do , you

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can still wake up in the morning , you

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can still live your life , you can

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still have a family and you can still

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go out there and make something of

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yourself without thinking that nobody

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is there for you . Mm .

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Yeah . Mm . Yeah . Yeah .