WEBVTT 00:04.800 --> 00:05.633 - Good morning, 00:05.633 --> 00:06.860 I'm Chaplain Steve Velthuis 00:06.860 --> 00:09.260 from US Coast Guard, District 13 here in Seattle, 00:09.260 --> 00:11.690 and I'm here today with Ms. Kristin Cox 00:11.690 --> 00:14.180 from Work-life here at Base Seattle. 00:14.180 --> 00:16.025 Kristin, you wanna say hi this morning? 00:16.025 --> 00:18.720 - Good Morning, welcome Base Seattle Work-life. 00:18.720 --> 00:20.330 - We're here today to talk to you 00:20.330 --> 00:22.350 about individual resiliency 00:22.350 --> 00:24.700 and as part of the admirals campaign 00:24.700 --> 00:27.020 on how to boost our resiliency. 00:27.020 --> 00:29.600 Kristin, we live in stressful times now, don't we? 00:29.600 --> 00:30.433 - Absolutely. 00:30.433 --> 00:33.670 - Life is stressful and the COVID-19 pandemic 00:33.670 --> 00:35.383 doesn't make things any easier. 00:36.580 --> 00:39.040 So I wanted to talk with you folks and today a little bit 00:39.040 --> 00:43.660 about how different perspectives that we hold on, 00:43.660 --> 00:46.360 how we view life, how things happen, 00:46.360 --> 00:47.590 what are you focusing on? 00:47.590 --> 00:48.740 What are you seeing? 00:48.740 --> 00:52.350 And sometimes we tend to lose the wider perspective. 00:52.350 --> 00:54.220 And Kristin I've noticed that sometimes, 00:54.220 --> 00:55.500 personally in my own life, 00:55.500 --> 00:58.250 that the two words always and never, 00:58.250 --> 01:00.460 are words that I need to stray away from 01:00.460 --> 01:02.310 and yet emotionally, 01:02.310 --> 01:05.363 I think sometimes we can get stuck in those words. 01:06.260 --> 01:09.430 I think our brains are wired for survival. 01:09.430 --> 01:11.020 You gonna talk a little bit about that? 01:11.020 --> 01:12.620 - Absolutely chaplain. 01:12.620 --> 01:15.800 One of the things that we know is that the human brain 01:15.800 --> 01:20.800 was designed and ended up being finely tuned mechanism 01:21.300 --> 01:23.160 to scan for danger. 01:23.160 --> 01:25.640 And so we have a tendency to focus on the things 01:25.640 --> 01:29.430 that are negative and that can cause a lot of anxiety 01:29.430 --> 01:32.970 and worry and planning for the worst. 01:32.970 --> 01:34.370 Takes extra effort 01:34.370 --> 01:37.020 if you would like to try to override that 01:37.020 --> 01:38.480 by focusing on the positive, 01:38.480 --> 01:41.700 it's not easy, it takes a practice and skill. 01:41.700 --> 01:43.480 - And one of the ways that we can do that 01:43.480 --> 01:46.110 and practicing that skill is to focus on 01:46.110 --> 01:49.590 what am I feeling in any given moment. 01:49.590 --> 01:51.870 Feelings aren't necessarily good or bad, 01:51.870 --> 01:54.460 feelings just are feelings, right? 01:54.460 --> 01:57.330 And a feeling is sometimes it can be like, 01:57.330 --> 02:00.000 riding a team of wild horses. 02:00.000 --> 02:01.260 If you don't manage the horses, 02:01.260 --> 02:03.050 they're gonna get away from you a little bit. 02:03.050 --> 02:05.320 And our feelings and our emotions can get away 02:05.320 --> 02:08.560 from this a little bit if we don't manage them. 02:08.560 --> 02:12.550 So think about your own human response to things, right? 02:12.550 --> 02:16.060 Our emotional response to things tends to run 02:16.060 --> 02:20.140 six to 10 seconds faster than our rational response. 02:20.140 --> 02:21.310 Wouldn't you agree? 02:21.310 --> 02:22.450 - Absolutely and in fact, 02:22.450 --> 02:25.790 most of the time we end up reacting instead of responding. 02:25.790 --> 02:29.540 And so I'd like to suggest a four step process 02:29.540 --> 02:34.360 to help manage a little bit of that runaway risk reaction. 02:34.360 --> 02:38.030 And the first step is to notice, notice what's going on, 02:38.030 --> 02:42.340 take a pause and momentary breath and realize, huh, 02:42.340 --> 02:45.130 I'm really pissed off or I'm really frustrated, 02:45.130 --> 02:47.060 or I'm really disappointed right now. 02:47.060 --> 02:49.540 And number two is to name that emotion. 02:49.540 --> 02:51.290 What is coming up for you? 02:51.290 --> 02:53.540 Could it be masquerading as something else? 02:53.540 --> 02:55.700 And number three is to normalize. 02:55.700 --> 02:58.120 We are all human, we are emotional beings. 02:58.120 --> 03:01.090 That is part of what it's like to be human. 03:01.090 --> 03:03.860 And number four is that to choose to navigate. 03:03.860 --> 03:05.620 And if we've take in that momentary pause, 03:05.620 --> 03:09.600 we can do it by responding instead of reacting. 03:09.600 --> 03:12.000 It gives us a little more cognitive flexibility. 03:12.880 --> 03:13.830 - Part of what I noticed too, 03:13.830 --> 03:16.850 is it helps me to discover and to think about 03:16.850 --> 03:19.840 why am I feeling this particular way? 03:19.840 --> 03:21.850 What is the cause of my feeling? 03:21.850 --> 03:23.930 And whether or not that feeling is even true 03:23.930 --> 03:26.240 or accurate in the moment, right? 03:26.240 --> 03:28.180 It's important to listen to the message, 03:28.180 --> 03:31.960 I think that our feelings are trying to convey to us 03:31.960 --> 03:34.500 and sometimes a momentary pause, 03:34.500 --> 03:35.600 Oh, wait a minute, 03:35.600 --> 03:37.160 let me think about what I'm really feeling 03:37.160 --> 03:41.183 can help us regain that perspective a little bit. 03:41.183 --> 03:43.120 - Exactly, it might be helpful 03:43.120 --> 03:45.430 to give you a little bit of space 03:45.430 --> 03:48.390 to choose, to respond instead of simply react 03:48.390 --> 03:49.990 to whatever's coming up for you. 03:52.210 --> 03:53.800 - Another thing that we talk 03:53.800 --> 03:56.940 about in terms of building individual resiliency 03:56.940 --> 03:58.890 is what can I do in the moment 03:58.890 --> 04:00.810 when I'm having this feeling? 04:00.810 --> 04:03.250 What can I do in the moment to kind of mitigate that feeling 04:03.250 --> 04:05.400 or to process that feeling a little bit? 04:05.400 --> 04:06.650 Why don't you talk a little bit, Kristin, 04:06.650 --> 04:08.910 about some grounding exercises that are helpful? 04:08.910 --> 04:10.893 - Absolutely. So one of the things that we know 04:10.893 --> 04:14.820 is that our survival mechanism wants us to take some action. 04:14.820 --> 04:18.660 And in order to short circuit that bad response, 04:18.660 --> 04:22.440 we want to go ahead and try to ground in the present moment 04:22.440 --> 04:25.220 and how we do that is to try and take in 04:25.220 --> 04:27.700 all of the things that we can be at our senses. 04:27.700 --> 04:30.100 There's a really great exercise that even kids can do, 04:30.100 --> 04:32.150 it's called the Five Finger Exercise, 04:32.150 --> 04:35.210 and it's just a momentary pause to say, okay, hang on, 04:35.210 --> 04:36.470 what can I see right now? 04:36.470 --> 04:38.380 Five things that I can see, 04:38.380 --> 04:42.750 four things that I can hear, three things that I can touch, 04:42.750 --> 04:44.590 two things that I can smell, 04:44.590 --> 04:46.910 and one thing can that I can taste. 04:46.910 --> 04:49.300 And really that's grounding puts you in the here and now 04:49.300 --> 04:50.380 in the present moment, 04:50.380 --> 04:52.910 instead of whatever's going on in your head. 04:52.910 --> 04:54.710 - Chocolate works great for tasting. 04:55.860 --> 04:56.880 The other thing we can do, 04:56.880 --> 05:00.720 I think to help us build our individual resiliency sometime 05:00.720 --> 05:02.290 just remember to breathe. 05:02.290 --> 05:05.090 Sometimes we get caught up in the emotional moment 05:05.090 --> 05:06.930 and we forget to breathe sometimes. 05:06.930 --> 05:08.710 So what's a good technique that folks can do 05:08.710 --> 05:09.940 to help them remember to breathe? 05:09.940 --> 05:12.108 - Well, first of all, let's breathe. Ready? 05:12.108 --> 05:14.300 (breathing) 05:14.300 --> 05:17.710 Okay, so there's a very quick and easy skill 05:17.710 --> 05:19.270 that you can learn 05:19.270 --> 05:23.230 and it's to take a little bit deeper than normal inhale 05:23.230 --> 05:26.370 and a nice long slow exhale. 05:26.370 --> 05:30.523 And if you're comfortable with it making an audible exhale. 05:32.440 --> 05:34.450 And then there's another skill that's called box breathing 05:34.450 --> 05:35.430 or tactical breathing, 05:35.430 --> 05:37.500 and that's a four by four by four by four. 05:37.500 --> 05:42.500 So it's four counts for an inhale, hold for four, 05:42.570 --> 05:45.380 four counts for an exhale, hold for four 05:45.380 --> 05:47.520 and do that cycle four times. 05:47.520 --> 05:48.820 That's tactical breathing. 05:50.559 --> 05:53.130 - I think sometimes it helps us too, to just take a moment, 05:53.130 --> 05:55.560 pause and focus in that moment 05:55.560 --> 05:58.500 and think about what's rally going on here? 05:58.500 --> 05:59.370 What is tangible? 05:59.370 --> 06:00.820 What can I touch? What can I feel? 06:00.820 --> 06:02.493 Like you mentioned a moment ago. 06:03.550 --> 06:07.410 And sometimes I think there's a tactical pause if you will, 06:07.410 --> 06:08.650 to say, you know what? 06:08.650 --> 06:10.330 My grandmother always told me to stop 06:10.330 --> 06:11.790 and count my blessings. 06:11.790 --> 06:12.710 And in that moment, 06:12.710 --> 06:14.880 when I'm thinking about the things that are good and right 06:14.880 --> 06:17.680 in my life and counting my blessings, 06:17.680 --> 06:19.710 it helps me and bring me back to reality a little bit, 06:19.710 --> 06:22.970 helps me focus on what is important in my life. 06:22.970 --> 06:24.800 It doesn't have to be profound or fancy, 06:24.800 --> 06:26.330 it doesn't have to be anything huge, 06:26.330 --> 06:28.880 it's just helpful to focus. Isn't it? 06:28.880 --> 06:32.490 - Like a good cup of coffee, how it feels in your hand, 06:32.490 --> 06:34.097 what it tastes like, what it smells like, 06:34.097 --> 06:35.660 and it really is grounding. 06:35.660 --> 06:37.890 And it helps override that tendency of the brain 06:37.890 --> 06:42.030 to count the negative and feed it a little bit of positive. 06:42.030 --> 06:43.580 - I think one of the best things that we can do 06:43.580 --> 06:47.100 if we find ourselves stressed out in the moment 06:47.100 --> 06:49.940 is just stop and wait, right. 06:49.940 --> 06:51.800 I tell my kids all the time, 06:51.800 --> 06:53.900 that pretty much nothing good happens 06:53.900 --> 06:56.893 between midnight and 6:00 AM if you're not sleeping. 06:57.770 --> 07:00.680 And so it's helpful to just stop, wait, 07:00.680 --> 07:03.690 don't make any decisions right now. Right? 07:03.690 --> 07:07.070 And things will almost always look better in the morning, 07:07.070 --> 07:07.903 won't they? 07:07.903 --> 07:10.350 - Absolutely. And I'm gonna steal probably 07:10.350 --> 07:12.207 one of your favorite phrases. 07:12.207 --> 07:13.350 "This too shall pass." 07:13.350 --> 07:14.890 Many of us have probably heard that 07:14.890 --> 07:17.530 and even said that to ourselves at times, 07:17.530 --> 07:21.450 but we really wanna emphasize that "this too shall pass," 07:21.450 --> 07:24.400 and "this too shall pass." 07:24.400 --> 07:25.600 - That's right. 07:25.600 --> 07:27.240 It will get better, it will get better. 07:27.240 --> 07:30.770 And sometimes we need help with that, don't we? 07:30.770 --> 07:32.570 It's important to remember, 07:32.570 --> 07:35.380 who do you have that you can call at 3:00 AM, right? 07:35.380 --> 07:39.640 Who is in your life that is emotionally safe for you? 07:39.640 --> 07:43.030 Do you have somebody that is important to you in your life 07:43.030 --> 07:44.639 that you can call at that moment 07:44.639 --> 07:48.100 when you're feeling less resilient or stressed out, 07:48.100 --> 07:50.750 or you don't know what the next step might be? 07:50.750 --> 07:51.880 Won't you say that's important? 07:51.880 --> 07:55.670 - Absolutely, and sometimes we're a little anxious 07:55.670 --> 07:56.980 about reaching out to other people, 07:56.980 --> 07:58.840 we don't wanna appear like we need help 07:58.840 --> 08:00.440 or we're feeling weak. 08:00.440 --> 08:03.770 And I wanna offer that sometimes it's the greatest gift 08:03.770 --> 08:05.060 you can give to someone else 08:05.060 --> 08:07.970 is the opportunity for them to support you. 08:07.970 --> 08:09.710 They want to help. 08:09.710 --> 08:11.820 We have many people that are standing by 08:11.820 --> 08:14.990 that are eager to support and provide resources 08:14.990 --> 08:17.090 and just listen if need be. 08:17.090 --> 08:17.923 - That's true. 08:17.923 --> 08:20.660 Sometimes we can rob people from a blessing in their life 08:20.660 --> 08:23.440 when we think they don't need our help. 08:23.440 --> 08:25.180 - So if you're interested in any of the things 08:25.180 --> 08:26.420 that we've mentioned today, 08:26.420 --> 08:27.800 we've been doing, 08:27.800 --> 08:32.160 Work-life Chaplains and Base Seattle L Dak has been doing 08:32.160 --> 08:35.690 the coping with COVID mindful moment calling sessions, 08:35.690 --> 08:37.620 once a week, every Thursday, 08:37.620 --> 08:38.630 we've got the number up here. 08:38.630 --> 08:40.330 If you need information about that, 08:40.330 --> 08:43.130 don't hesitate to contact either of us via email, 08:43.130 --> 08:45.830 probably the best way to get ahold of us. 08:45.830 --> 08:47.810 - And then there's some other resources, 08:47.810 --> 08:51.070 again, as we said, call the friends, 08:51.070 --> 08:53.360 somebody who can be there for you emotionally, 08:53.360 --> 08:55.183 or a family member that you trust. 08:56.110 --> 08:58.070 Certainly I'm available 24/7, 08:58.070 --> 09:00.900 that's my cell phone number up there on the screen. 09:00.900 --> 09:02.530 You can reach out to that at any time 09:02.530 --> 09:04.820 via phone, call via text. 09:04.820 --> 09:08.160 If that helps you, the Work-life number is there. 09:08.160 --> 09:11.990 That's the 24/7 emergency number Coast Guard support 09:11.990 --> 09:15.280 is another resource that's very helpful. 09:15.280 --> 09:16.670 And then at the very bottom there, 09:16.670 --> 09:19.350 that's our suicide prevention hotline number. 09:19.350 --> 09:21.180 It's a nationwide number, 09:21.180 --> 09:23.770 suicide hotline numbers do work, 09:23.770 --> 09:26.970 and they're very effective in helping people, 09:26.970 --> 09:30.440 overcome those deep dark moments in their lives. 09:30.440 --> 09:31.273 And as always, 09:31.273 --> 09:32.560 if there's a moment in your life 09:32.560 --> 09:35.120 where it's a matter of literally of life and limb, 09:35.120 --> 09:36.590 don't hesitate to call nine one, one 09:36.590 --> 09:38.340 and reach out and get support. 09:38.340 --> 09:40.620 Kristin, anything else you'd like to add today that would? 09:40.620 --> 09:42.664 - Thanks chaplain, I would like to add that 09:42.664 --> 09:46.330 the folks that are listed on this page 09:46.330 --> 09:50.090 are actually standing by and we are available 24/7, 09:50.090 --> 09:53.040 and nowadays you can actually get tele mental health 09:53.040 --> 09:54.910 and tele counseling sessions as well. 09:54.910 --> 09:57.049 So don't hesitate to reach out 09:57.049 --> 09:59.970 if it's something that you feel like it would be helpful. 09:59.970 --> 10:02.230 - That's right, thank you for tuning in with us today, 10:02.230 --> 10:05.310 and Kristin, it was fun talking with you and go for it, 10:05.310 --> 10:07.600 be safe and be blessed. Thank you. 10:07.600 --> 10:08.433 - Thank you.