WEBVTT

00:02.990 --> 00:05.923
- I came in the Air Force in June 2001.

00:07.760 --> 00:11.290
I got my first assignment
to Charleston Air Force Base

00:11.290 --> 00:15.210
in 2009 and before that I was,

00:15.210 --> 00:17.280
my hair was growing in a healthy manner

00:17.280 --> 00:19.280
but it was still scalp was irritated kind

00:19.280 --> 00:22.663
of had dandruff and things like that.

00:22.663 --> 00:24.040
And my hair was healthy it was just

00:24.040 --> 00:25.840
man it just looked like I don't know.

00:25.840 --> 00:28.090
Just beautiful, it's beautiful.

00:28.090 --> 00:30.650
Six inch, six, seven inches worth of hair

00:30.650 --> 00:32.850
all the way around perfect sphere.

00:32.850 --> 00:34.150
Just amazing.

00:34.150 --> 00:37.960
And then after that my hair
started coming out in clumps.

00:37.960 --> 00:41.780
So I would wash my hair
and it would just come out

00:41.780 --> 00:43.010
and it was devastating.

00:43.010 --> 00:44.910
And I'm figuring you know everybody says

00:44.910 --> 00:49.560
every mother has had a, a
women that has had a child

00:49.560 --> 00:50.880
would say oh yeah you're gonna lose

00:50.880 --> 00:54.100
a few hairs here and
there but it was a lot.

00:54.100 --> 00:55.626
It was a lot.

00:55.626 --> 00:57.553
So that's when I finally
went to the doctor.

00:59.040 --> 01:02.510
Over at Landstuhl
Regional Medical Facility

01:02.510 --> 01:06.120
and they did biopsies and said okay well

01:06.120 --> 01:08.080
your scalp is inflamed.

01:08.080 --> 01:11.820
It's irritated so let's
give you some tar shampoo

01:11.820 --> 01:13.480
to calm down the irritation.

01:13.480 --> 01:14.410
And it did work.

01:14.410 --> 01:15.750
I'm not gonna lie it did work.

01:15.750 --> 01:18.540
But my hair was still coming out.

01:18.540 --> 01:22.790
I finally went to, I got a
referral to go to a dermatologist

01:22.790 --> 01:25.340
and they took another biopsy
and of course they saw

01:25.340 --> 01:28.690
that you know you have
this inflamed scalp.

01:28.690 --> 01:31.940
And then the rest was alopecia
and the different types

01:31.940 --> 01:34.910
of alopecia within my hair on my scalp.

01:34.910 --> 01:37.510
I thought oh okay I
thought it was just once.

01:37.510 --> 01:39.290
Alopecia, you lose it.

01:39.290 --> 01:40.770
No I had scarring Alopecia.

01:40.770 --> 01:45.700
I had the other Alopecia where
it's in your immune system.

01:45.700 --> 01:46.893
It just attacks it.

01:49.000 --> 01:52.490
So that was about I say 25 to 30%

01:52.490 --> 01:57.490
hair loss right at the top
of my crown that was gone.

01:57.870 --> 02:00.490
And I never expected my hair to grow back

02:00.490 --> 02:05.333
but to know that there was so
much going on it's just scary.

02:08.170 --> 02:12.470
And then last October was when I decided

02:12.470 --> 02:14.580
I can't do this anymore.

02:14.580 --> 02:19.563
I can't think or accept that
my hair was going to grow back.

02:20.632 --> 02:22.590
But the regulation hadn't changed.

02:22.590 --> 02:26.067
So I still had to wear a wig.

02:26.990 --> 02:30.800
- The amount of energy that she put into

02:30.800 --> 02:32.770
trying to figure out what she was gonna do

02:32.770 --> 02:35.033
each day to make it work.

02:36.146 --> 02:38.270
That was just one less
stress that was on her plate.

02:38.270 --> 02:40.490
And you know when you're a family,

02:40.490 --> 02:42.970
whatever her stress is my stress.

02:42.970 --> 02:46.350
So once that changed,

02:46.350 --> 02:49.193
that really eased up for all of us.

02:51.290 --> 02:54.920
- Imagine having to get up every morning.

02:54.920 --> 02:56.693
At least three days out of the week.

02:58.780 --> 03:01.023
Wake up, braid your hair.

03:02.260 --> 03:04.160
For the hair that you do have.

03:04.160 --> 03:05.133
That's one thing.

03:06.070 --> 03:08.770
Open this drawer and

03:10.469 --> 03:13.370
a selection of wigs
just appears before you.

03:13.370 --> 03:15.890
And you have to pick the right wig

03:15.890 --> 03:20.600
that is designed the right
way to clip to your hair

03:20.600 --> 03:23.683
or attach to your hair with
the hair that you do have.

03:24.680 --> 03:26.903
And then put on your PT gear.

03:28.020 --> 03:30.363
Run, walk, whatever you do at PT.

03:31.270 --> 03:33.343
Sweat, push-ups, sit-ups.

03:35.130 --> 03:37.320
And during PT if you're doing push-ups,

03:37.320 --> 03:39.370
oh my God your fair is falling.

03:39.370 --> 03:42.249
But not the hair that's
attached to your head.

03:42.249 --> 03:45.220
The hair that's clipped to your hair

03:45.220 --> 03:47.710
is moving so you have
to stop your push-up,

03:47.710 --> 03:49.600
perfect push-up position.

03:49.600 --> 03:50.593
And put it back.

03:51.880 --> 03:54.690
While no one else notices
so you don't get accused

03:54.690 --> 03:57.840
of cheating during your
push-ups or your sit-ups.

03:57.840 --> 03:59.150
And then go back.

03:59.150 --> 04:00.253
Run home.

04:01.170 --> 04:02.700
Unbraid your hair.

04:02.700 --> 04:04.050
Oh backtrack.

04:04.050 --> 04:06.560
Take off the hair that you have on.

04:06.560 --> 04:08.513
Wash that piece of hair.

04:09.550 --> 04:12.969
Unbraid your hair to
make sure you cleanse.

04:12.969 --> 04:13.802
'Cause you have to cleanse your hair

04:13.802 --> 04:15.490
and your scalp from all the sweat.

04:18.000 --> 04:21.090
Moisturize it, oil it, seal it.

04:21.090 --> 04:22.470
Braid it back up.

04:22.470 --> 04:23.800
Go back to that drawer.

04:23.800 --> 04:26.713
Find another piece of some type of hair.

04:28.490 --> 04:30.840
And adjust it, comb it, brush it.

04:30.840 --> 04:33.300
Make sure it's in within regulations.

04:33.300 --> 04:35.400
And then you have that wig on for the day.

04:36.503 --> 04:39.170
But if you have on I don't
know if you have to wear

04:39.170 --> 04:43.550
your MOP gear you have to
adjust that ponytail back there.

04:43.550 --> 04:45.040
Put on that wig.

04:45.040 --> 04:47.240
Pull that off when it's your all done

04:47.240 --> 04:49.010
with your MOP training.

04:49.010 --> 04:52.880
Adjust your wig that way and
then pull the MOP gear off

04:52.880 --> 04:55.830
and adjust, and adjust, and
adjust, and adjust, and adjust.

04:56.800 --> 04:59.000
Worse than wiping sweat off.

04:59.000 --> 04:59.860
And it's stressful.

04:59.860 --> 05:00.780
So there's a

05:01.810 --> 05:04.940
financial burden

05:05.960 --> 05:08.206
because I don't want to just put any type

05:08.206 --> 05:11.720
of anything on my scalp or on my hair.

05:11.720 --> 05:14.603
And then there's the time burden.

05:15.480 --> 05:18.680
And then there's a medical burden as well.

05:18.680 --> 05:20.460
So I can still take care of my health.

05:20.460 --> 05:25.460
Because Alopecia is autoimmune
so I'm still learning

05:25.580 --> 05:29.000
and navigating of how to
switch my diet to figure out

05:29.000 --> 05:32.720
how this impacts my hair
as well and my scalp.

05:32.720 --> 05:36.955
So it's very stressful and
I have to maintain an image

05:36.955 --> 05:39.870
for what the Air Force says okay.

05:39.870 --> 05:42.900
Or at the time and even
now the Air Force says

05:42.900 --> 05:45.650
that you should look like this.

05:45.650 --> 05:47.920
You should have this on your hair.

05:47.920 --> 05:50.830
Because AFI said that you can only have

05:50.830 --> 05:53.630
a bald head if you have cancer.

05:53.630 --> 05:58.630
So before that changed I
had to take on some money.

05:59.090 --> 06:02.320
Some financial burdens
to take care of myself

06:02.320 --> 06:05.470
to an image for the sake of an image.

06:05.470 --> 06:08.900
Not for the sake of my health and mentally

06:09.742 --> 06:12.140
I'm still going through
this and in my family

06:12.140 --> 06:14.250
they're still seeing me get ready.

06:14.250 --> 06:16.530
At home I may look like one thing.

06:16.530 --> 06:19.500
But when I have to go out
I look like another thing.

06:19.500 --> 06:22.113
Or I carry another image with me.

06:23.400 --> 06:27.700
So after I found out that
AFI was finally published.

06:27.700 --> 06:29.453
It was Friday the 13th.

06:30.811 --> 06:33.363
And I was beyond ecstatic.

06:34.600 --> 06:37.790
I didn't have to worry
about putting on another wig

06:37.790 --> 06:39.140
if I didn't want to.

06:39.140 --> 06:40.963
It was definitely optional.

06:42.000 --> 06:43.070
But this was great.

06:43.070 --> 06:45.020
I could just go ahead
and just shave my head.

06:45.020 --> 06:48.560
And that I mean my getting ready time.

06:48.560 --> 06:51.850
Dropped from maybe 30 minutes

06:51.850 --> 06:53.800
to maybe 10 now at this point.

06:53.800 --> 06:55.663
I mean I put the shaving cream on.

06:56.630 --> 06:57.820
Use my razor.

06:57.820 --> 07:01.630
Witch hazel and another product.

07:01.630 --> 07:02.823
And that was it.

07:03.772 --> 07:05.172
And just go on about my day.

07:06.180 --> 07:07.280
It's a relief.

07:07.280 --> 07:08.580
It definitely is a relief.

07:09.890 --> 07:12.020
You know everything does
tie back to the mission.

07:12.020 --> 07:14.520
So now I can go ahead and
get to what I need to get to.

07:14.520 --> 07:16.040
Where I need to get to.

07:16.040 --> 07:17.320
Do what I need to do.

07:17.320 --> 07:19.200
And that's it.

07:19.200 --> 07:21.330
There's days that I do think

07:21.330 --> 07:23.290
oh I wonder what someone's gonna say.

07:23.290 --> 07:24.543
You know I do wonder.

07:25.640 --> 07:26.920
I don't want to get any more stares

07:26.920 --> 07:29.410
I just want people to just say hello.

07:29.410 --> 07:31.610
And if they don't say
hello that's fine too.

07:34.796 --> 07:36.240
But it's easier you know.

07:36.240 --> 07:39.613
It really is just easier
more than anything else.

07:42.338 --> 07:44.850
And there's days I do want
to put something on my head.

07:44.850 --> 07:47.393
Now being here in South Dakota it's cold.

07:49.111 --> 07:51.652
So I'm definitely concerned about that.

07:51.652 --> 07:53.720
But it's fine.

07:53.720 --> 07:56.900
Whatever you're going
through, it'll be all right.

07:56.900 --> 07:58.110
Give everything time.

07:58.110 --> 08:00.260
Whatever you're going through.

08:00.260 --> 08:02.960
Give it time, surround
yourself with the right people.

08:05.120 --> 08:06.910
Get the right encouragement.

08:06.910 --> 08:08.460
And you know who the right people will be

08:08.460 --> 08:09.860
because the right people are going

08:09.860 --> 08:12.240
to continue to make you uncomfortable.

08:12.240 --> 08:14.863
The right people are going
to continue to make you grow.

08:16.041 --> 08:18.590
And at first it can seem difficult

08:19.930 --> 08:21.793
but after that I mean,

08:23.350 --> 08:24.360
it's amazing.

08:27.507 --> 08:30.424
(sound shattering)