WEBVTT 00:03.699 --> 00:06.169 - I told my boss, my stepdad's about 00:06.169 --> 00:08.669 to pass away and I need to go. 00:11.275 --> 00:15.442 He goes, "Well, it's the work or it's your family." 00:16.033 --> 00:18.667 That wasn't a hard decision for me to make. 00:18.667 --> 00:21.291 ^And he died in my home, my childhood home, 00:21.291 --> 00:24.041 ^surrounded by me and my brothers. 00:25.534 --> 00:26.784 It wasn't easy. 00:31.368 --> 00:35.535 The following events in my life played out very dark. 00:36.941 --> 00:39.226 I had just lost my stepdad, I didn't wanna 00:39.226 --> 00:42.309 weaken a relationship with my father. 00:42.374 --> 00:46.541 My dad and I had talked about saving up the money, 00:47.541 --> 00:50.041 buying a certain model of gun. 00:50.176 --> 00:53.500 I just took the money and I went and blew it. 00:53.500 --> 00:57.667 I went to a bar and drank and it became a problem. 01:00.014 --> 01:02.931 2014, I texted my dad and I'm like, 01:03.018 --> 01:07.185 "I'm glad I didn't buy the gun, I had a plan to use it." 01:08.434 --> 01:10.451 My dad and I had a coming to Jesus talk, 01:10.451 --> 01:11.939 as he would call it. 01:11.939 --> 01:14.487 He smacked the world into perspective for me and 01:14.487 --> 01:17.692 little did I know that my dad was speaking from experience. 01:17.692 --> 01:21.071 And a couple months after, I was on SDP orders, 01:21.071 --> 01:24.125 I get a call from my uncle on my cellphone, 01:24.125 --> 01:26.728 says I need to go to my grandmother's house. 01:26.728 --> 01:30.418 Run down the street, go in the house, go up the stairs, 01:30.418 --> 01:32.927 and my uncles are waiting for me. 01:32.927 --> 01:35.233 They tell me that my father committed suicide 01:35.233 --> 01:37.900 at about 10 o'clock on May 22nd. 01:39.186 --> 01:43.175 I wasn't doing good, I was just in my own world. 01:43.175 --> 01:45.175 I didn't wanna be there. 01:45.247 --> 01:46.883 Every time I put on the uniform, I felt like 01:46.883 --> 01:48.343 something bad was happening. 01:48.343 --> 01:50.926 And I eventually got written up 01:51.148 --> 01:55.315 for calling out my leadership in an unprofessional manner 01:56.890 --> 02:00.057 and disrespecting my chain of command. 02:01.462 --> 02:04.213 There was an individual in my organization, 02:04.213 --> 02:08.380 he took me golfing and his name was Major Ben Kanetti. 02:11.373 --> 02:15.540 He's like, "Look, life's rough, life doesn't get easier, 02:15.910 --> 02:18.910 but we get stronger, things progress 02:19.587 --> 02:22.381 to the more positive light after speaking 02:22.381 --> 02:23.919 with the mental health advocate." 02:23.919 --> 02:26.912 A member in our installation, Dan Norton, 02:26.912 --> 02:29.267 he really helped me work through 02:29.267 --> 02:31.372 a lot of the underlying issues that I was having. 02:31.372 --> 02:32.457 He want to bat for me. 02:32.457 --> 02:34.522 ^- At first, he would come in for 30 minutes 02:34.522 --> 02:36.650 ^and kind of float out of the office 02:36.650 --> 02:39.009 And then it was about three weeks, 02:39.009 --> 02:40.776 he was staying for the full hour. 02:40.776 --> 02:42.627 When I look at like, if there was any such thing 02:42.627 --> 02:44.928 as a finish line, you know, when you're grieving, 02:44.928 --> 02:49.095 Jordan just within months, got married in Florida. 02:50.205 --> 02:52.421 - The moment I realized I was all right 02:52.421 --> 02:55.247 or that everything was gonna be alright 02:55.247 --> 02:57.914 was when I actually met my wife. 02:58.152 --> 03:00.167 She has a seven year old daughter, 03:00.167 --> 03:03.400 that little girl means the world to me. 03:03.400 --> 03:05.898 Knowing that I'm making her life better, 03:05.898 --> 03:09.815 that really put things into perspective for me. 03:10.107 --> 03:12.381 When I was at the darkest point in my life, 03:12.381 --> 03:15.298 I couldn't see myself where I'm at. 03:15.352 --> 03:19.052 Making Staff Sergeant was one of my biggest accomplishments. 03:19.052 --> 03:21.395 In my personal opinion, it's because 03:21.395 --> 03:23.369 I never thought I would make it this far, 03:23.369 --> 03:26.702 because putting on that stripe helped me 03:28.144 --> 03:31.808 put things into perspective of what it's really like 03:31.808 --> 03:35.975 to be a leader, to be responsible for the people below me. 03:36.055 --> 03:39.105 - I would say if you could look at Jordan's case 03:39.105 --> 03:43.272 and say, "This kid can get through some of these things 03:44.069 --> 03:47.336 that he went through and look how he's doing today, 03:47.336 --> 03:50.169 anybody can get through anything." 03:51.077 --> 03:54.405 You just have to reach out, take little steps, 03:54.405 --> 03:58.072 and we'll take care of you, you're worth it. 03:58.340 --> 03:59.923 - Ask for the help. 04:00.212 --> 04:03.795 Don't be afraid because you wear a uniform. 04:04.646 --> 04:08.443 We all need help sometimes, and when we need help, 04:08.443 --> 04:10.526 it's okay to ask for it.