WEBVTT 00:05.810 --> 00:10.420 I'm Neil Sheaffer. I'm a contract specialist for DLA Land & Maritime in 00:10.420 --> 00:12.840 Columbus, Ohio. 00:13.720 --> 00:22.300 My story involves my wife's death. It was the afternoonof June 25, 2007. 00:22.300 --> 00:29.240 I had been away from home all morning at a business meeting, and returned homeearly afternoon to find 00:29.240 --> 00:37.120 our riding mower in a mangled heap in the middle of the road, and my wife'slifeless body laying in 00:37.120 --> 00:44.000 the neighbor's front yard. The minivan that hit andkilled Joni was sitting a 00:44.000 --> 00:49.750 few hundred feetfurther down the road. The driver of the minivan was texting and 00:49.750 --> 00:57.600 driving...became focused, more interested on what was happening with hercell phone, looked down 00:57.600 --> 01:07.270 and didn't look up againuntil she had left the road. The van drifted left of center, entered our yard, 01:07.270 --> 01:18.150 and it a 100 feet further in our yard to where Joni was on the riding mower. 01:18.150 --> 01:26.300 We were married for 18 years. Our daughter at the timewas 14, our son was 11. 01:26.300 --> 01:35.390 I not only had to be Dad, but I now needed to be mom. Don't get me wrong - I hada great support system. 01:35.390 --> 01:47.420 But, in the quiet times, Iwent to a very dark place. It took me some time to come to terms with what 01:47.420 --> 01:58.240 had happened, and the finality of it. I got to the point whereI knew I needed to do 01:58.240 --> 02:09.660 something - something that could not only honor Joni's memory, but also be therapeutic for me. 02:09.660 --> 02:15.240 So, I came up with this crazy idea of speaking at the local student driving school. 02:15.240 --> 02:25.720 I brought this idea up to the owner of the school who knew of our family'ssituation, and she readily 02:25.720 --> 02:31.600 agreed that I should come speak - and then I didn't show up for another year and a half. 02:31.600 --> 02:41.270 It took a lot of time toget the courage to do that, to, to finallyconvince myself that was 02:41.270 --> 02:49.600 the right thing to do and then even go stand up in front of a group of teenagers, and then share 02:49.600 --> 02:57.840 with them our tragedy and life lessons that I learned all with the goal of helping to turn the 02:57.840 --> 03:05.570 tide of distracteddriving. I forgive, I've forgiventhe driver that killed Joni. 03:05.570 --> 03:13.360 She didn't set out to dothat, but even if she had, I would forgive her. 03:13.360 --> 03:23.510 It didn't happen rightaway, it took some time, but I got there. 03:23.510 --> 03:30.570 I think the turning point in fully accepting this 03:31.870 --> 03:39.030 loss of a wife, and a mom,and sister and aunt, was 03:41.420 --> 03:46.510 during a dream. In the dream, Joni and Iwere unloading groceries. 03:46.510 --> 03:52.660 A large vehicle pulledinto our driveway, but I could only seeit in silhouette. 03:52.660 --> 04:01.120 Two people got out of the vehicle - I can only see them in silhouette, but I somehow knew it was a 04:01.120 --> 04:03.540 father and a son. 04:03.690 --> 04:11.090 They called to Joni - said, "You need to come with us, youhave work to do." 04:14.360 --> 04:22.510 Joni stopped what she was doing. She left - no goodbye,no explanation. 04:22.510 --> 04:29.180 I wrestled with what this meant for a while, and had some folks help me understand it. 04:29.180 --> 04:37.630 That, uh, that father and son - that was God and Jesus. 04:37.630 --> 04:42.840 That's when I knew that everything was going to be OK. 04:42.840 --> 04:48.780 And that Joni's soulwas still soaring. 04:50.180 --> 05:02.000 Through this, I've learnedthat life is like a heartbeat on a monitor -it has highs and it has 05:02.000 --> 05:04.270 lows. Some of the highs are higher than others and 05:04.270 --> 05:11.450 some of the lows, unfortunately, are very low. But they are allonly temporary. 05:11.450 --> 05:17.300 This is a journey, andthere are times when the journey is, is rocky. 05:17.300 --> 05:24.150 Stay the course, andyou'll overcome.