WEBVTT

00:02.987 --> 00:04.782
- I mean I don't want to generalize what depression is

00:04.782 --> 00:07.430
for everyone, but for me, it feels a lot like

00:07.430 --> 00:09.916
walking through a garden with dirty clothes.

00:09.916 --> 00:11.668
It's a beautiful scene and you can take in

00:11.668 --> 00:13.621
all the environment through all your senses,

00:13.621 --> 00:15.452
^but, ultimately, you're still wearing something dirty

00:15.452 --> 00:17.849
^you feel like you can't take off.

00:17.849 --> 00:21.841
^Sometimes the love that others have for you isn't enough.

00:21.841 --> 00:24.008
^It almost guilt-trips you.

00:24.409 --> 00:28.576
My first ideology about why I should have gone that path

00:28.645 --> 00:31.625
initially was I am a false version of myself

00:31.625 --> 00:34.032
and the people I love don't deserve that.

00:34.032 --> 00:36.153
The second time it was I can't keep doing this,

00:36.153 --> 00:39.294
this doesn't feel like a life worth living.

00:39.294 --> 00:41.006
My hindering illness that brought me

00:41.006 --> 00:42.599
to Wounded Warrior - East

00:42.599 --> 00:44.104
is depression with suicidal ideation.

00:44.104 --> 00:45.610
It was my second occurrence.

00:45.610 --> 00:47.835
It first happened while I was on (mumbles).

00:47.835 --> 00:50.367
I got admitted to a hospital, and I was cleared.

00:50.367 --> 00:52.928
Once I was done there for up to five days.

00:52.928 --> 00:55.047
Went back, reenlisted, and then I got orders

00:55.047 --> 00:56.667
to Camp LeJeune, and we deployed.

00:56.667 --> 00:58.832
I came to a fork in the road where either I

00:58.832 --> 01:00.668
would have done something dumb or did something smart,

01:00.668 --> 01:02.501
and the smart thing was to reach out and ask for help

01:02.501 --> 01:04.751
and admit that I need help.

01:05.926 --> 01:07.759
Being part of Wounded Warrior - East and being part

01:07.759 --> 01:10.001
of the trials has definitely helped with my recovery

01:10.001 --> 01:12.283
and helped keep me away from past events

01:12.283 --> 01:14.200
that I've gone through.

01:18.520 --> 01:20.232
I'm Staff Sergeant Nelson Andrade,

01:20.232 --> 01:22.482
and I'm still in the fight.

01:23.407 --> 01:26.740
(soft triumphant music)